Silky surprise....

I am not one of these people that swap jobs every 5 minutes as I personally think it looks bad on your cv, however there was a time I found myself between employment & needed to make an income - introducing the Phone Sex Operator. That's right, men paid to call me at all hours, day or night, to talk sex. This job has got to have been one of the biggest eye openers for me & whilst I always state the two things in life I know about are men & shoes, I managed to learn a LOT more.
For instance, one of the most popular topics of conversation was that the man would say he was wearing, or had been wearing women's clothing!! The first time I heard "Ooh I've done something really bad, i'm wearing women's lace panties & I have been to the pub in them" it took all my strength not to laugh out loud; I had to be professional :o) However this became a regular thing that men would say on a daily basis, to the point where I would roll my eyes & think (yawn) can't you think of anything original.


So what is the crack with STRAIGHT men wearing women's clothing? Why would they want to do it & why would it be a turn on for them? Do they pretend they are a lesbian? (Even though when they look down they still have meat & 2 veg - go figure). Does this then in turn make the woman a lesbian?
One reason apparently is that they like the feel of the material, not sure I buy that one. Go & get your lady friend all the silky garms you want & rub them up, don't go & squeeze into them yourself. I mean picture it - you walk in & find a 40 something year old guy with a beer belly bursting out of your fav red silk chemise & with the matching thong wedged up his hairy crack; how on earth would that be a turn on for the woman never mind comfy for the bloke??!!

Jordan married Alex Reid knowing full well that he had an alter ego named Roxanne & openly dressed as a women (like that didn't look odd; a cage fighter in fish nets & high heels - that alone would make you run in the opposite direction surely). Although I think she did it for attention I think she took on little more than she could chew with that one, hence a big fat DIVORCE after just 11 months. Maybe he got chatted up more when they went out which dented her own ego - who knows.
If I came home & saw my bloke wearing any of my garments, underwear or otherwise I don't think I would be able to contain the laughter never mind get all fruity & have hot loving. So ladies if ever you go snooping & find some sexy lingerie don't get too excited it might not be for you :o)

****All products featured in this post are from my new mate Pabo, you can check out these & other items by clinking the link at the side of the blog. Don't worry Ann is still there too if you want to have a right good old shopping spree & visit em both - treat yourself :o) ****

Whats your worth

We have all heard of, if not seen, the film Indecent Proposal where a billionaire offers a bloke £1million to spend one night with his wife (clearly with one thing on his mind) but I wonder if anyone would actually have big enough balls to do this in real life?
I mean if you were on a night out & some random offered your man money to spend a night with you then I suppose its a compliment; I mean he could have probably gotten away with paying a hooker £20 for a blow job - cheap at half the price. But is it a compliment or an insult? Is he implying that you look like a high class hooker who would do anything for money OR is he thinking you are the most beautiful woman he has ever seen & knows you would never go near him with a barge pole.

So many questions....For instance if you & your partner both agree to it, is this classed as cheating? I mean if you are all consenting adults how can it be. But even if your man does agree & it goes ahead then I bet he will be left with doubts about you & the relationship, which in the end would lead to a split. If you are prepared to put aside your relationship as well as your panties at the flash of some cash what else are you prepared to do? Also if you do it once will it have a lasting effect on you - giving you a taste for hard, fast cash (literally hard & fast with some men).
Would your other half be classed as a pimp, technically he is loaning you out for money & according to the Urban Dictionary their description is; a man who brokers the sexual favours of women for a profit! However technically if you do spend the night with someone for money but nothing sexual happens are you still classed as a prostitute? According to that same dictionary the definition is; One who will perform sexual acts if payment is arranged. So no sex no hoe....hummm still debatable if you ask me.

They have even featured this as a story line in The Simpsons of all things; Marge is offered to spend the weekend with a guy she use to go to school with who has always fancied her. He offers her £1million which is initially declined however Marge accepts as because Homer needs an operation & they can see no other way of raising the funds. They did however have a clause where there were to be no rudeness or sexy business (amen to that rule) so when the guy made a move on the first night Marge was out of there quicker than she could say 'eat my shorts' (clearly he was hoping to eat more than that!!).

No matter how hard up I was there is no way that I would jepodise my relationship with my man, I would rather live on the bread line being happy & content rather than sell myself out for a few bucks to pay off a few bills, buy a new car or maybe even a new house. Money doesn't buy happiness, especially if you have loads of it but are on your own because you obtained it by banging an OAP for a night then your man left you....


****All items featured in this post can be purchased from my mate Ann (Summers of course) pop on over & have a look at all the delights she has to offer, all you have to do is click the links on the blog. And don't worry they are all at a very reasonable cost so you don't need to spend the night with someone to get the cash to afford the garms :o) ****

Take your position

There are 1001 different sex positions, in fact probably many more than that as making them up as you go along is half the fun. So I thought it only fair that we go through a few of them; you never know you might see one that tickles your fancy & be brave enough to give them a go :o)

Go on top & dominate :o)

1. Her on top - Now you might think 'yawn that's boring' but I thought I would ease you in gently with one we all know & are familiar with. Also to quote Phil Mitchell on what he said about Cathy in East Enders; The oldies are the goodies :o)
This is a great position for both parties involved so no one is being greedy. It is what it says on the tin, the man lays on his back while the woman climbs on top like a cow girl & away you go. For added pleasure you could lean back & hold onto his ankles or alternatively pin his hands down above his head & take complete control. This is a good one for us girls for when we want to be in charge as being on top you get to control the speed & the motion. So actually you should ignore the first part as if she is in the mood then a woman can be very greedy in this position....
(You can also do this same position however facing the other way, so your back is towards his face - this is known as the reverse cow girl & takes a little practice).

2. Kneeling Fox - This is similar to the doggy position but with a twist, so this is one for the men.
The woman gets on her hands & knees & leans forward on her arms, he kneels behind & puts his hands on her waist. He pulls her down towards him rather than her being on all fours; so basically it looks a bit like you are sitting on his knee. Good for deep penetration however you don't get all the intimate stuff like kissing or looking lovingly into each others eyes (but hey somethings gotta give).

3. Stand up - As I write I sit here wondering if this is what Ludacris meant with the lyrics of one of his songs "Stand up, when I move you move, just like that" Hummmm hidden meaning maybe.
Basically the woman stands facing the wall with her feet about two feet away, leaning forward to keep her balance, allowing her to stick her bum in the air. He then slid's on in & enters her from behind. The woman gets to thrust backwards using the wall to apply as much pressure as she likes, till she hears the right amount of moans anyway :o)
This one does involve more effort then usual as you are standing but hey no one achieves nothing without a little hard work....

Get your very own bullet....

4. Magic Bullet - You have to look past the name as there are no disappearing acts or guns used to create this bad boy so if you had other ideas pay attention. The woman lays on her back with her legs straight up in the air, the man kneels on the bed behind you. He can then hold onto her legs for leverage & to help with the thrusting. Bit of a tip for the guys - you can hold her legs together with one hand so as you feel fuller inside her & then with the other hand he can use to wonder all over your body, finding your sensitive spots. Failing that you can obtain a vibrator called 'The Bullet' from Ann Summers which hits the spot EVERYTIME!! Its a big orgasm in a small package but like its name once on your trigger your sure to go BANG :o)
The women's legs can get quite achy so this is one for the lazy chicks....

5. Sexy Spoon - Fear not no cutlery is injured in the process of this as none are used (phew, I knew you were getting worried hoping it would be tea spoons & not table spoons).

How could he resist you in this

The woman lays on her side in the bed, the man then spoons her from behind. Entering her slowly he just put a whole new spin on bedtime cuddles! This is a great one for helping you feel that bit closer & intimate, its definitely nice & slow instead of fast & reckless. It can be a bit awkward at first which is why he should be slow to enter but once you get going the worlds your Lobster :o)
Once you have picked up the pace (unless you prefer to stick it in the slow lane - remember the torturous & the hare story....) to switch it up a bit he can elevate her top leg & slide his hand down to rub her clit, this is a tip which is sure to send her over the edge.

Well folks don't be disappointed that I have left it there, plenty here for you to be going on with & I don't want to give away all the gems at once. So give these ones a go, try it; you may just like it.

****All items featured in this post can be obtained from my mate Ann (Summers of course) so if you are tempted to see what else she has click on the links on the blog & have a butchers. You may end up getting more than you bargained for****

Age ain't nothin but a number

Apparently Bill Roache (aka Ken Barlow from the street) has split from his girlfriend of 3 years, Emma Jesson, as they drifted apart. Well considering he is 80 & she is 44 I would say you don't need to be Sherlock Holmes to know that wasn't gonna work! This leads me on to wonder; When your putting together your list of what you look for in a partner - looks, personality, career, money etc does age ever come into the equation & if not should it?

It seems it has always been more accepted in society for the man to be older than the woman, no one really bats an eye lid at that. However there is an ever growing trend more recently where older women are praying on younger guys & getting their fill of satisfaction; Welcome the Cougar....
Younger men have personally never done anything for me - I need a man not a boy, however I can see the appeal for older woman. I imagine if your single & retired it could get a little boring or lonely & besides just because you are retired from work doesn't mean your are retired from having fun in the bedroom. If you are a go getter (as these Cougars seem to be) then you want someone who is going to be able to keep up & satisfy your EVERY need, not be worried that his false teeth will fall out half way through.
However I can't help but think the only appeal for a young man is either money (if she is loaded, which they tend to be) or experience. If she is one of these that has had lot of work done then he has landed on his feet really - she looks younger & a babe (everything is firm & tight cause she paid enough for it to stay where it was intended to), she has money, independent & has bags of experience. But lets be honest they can't all be like that, these Cougars are what little boys dream about but fantasy is rarely reality.

Old men love nothing more than a young woman on their arm & many a divorce comes from him running off with a younger bird (she normally gets branded a slut or home wrecker!) giving him the title of a Sugar Daddy. Its all about ego, having a trophy on their arm to parade in front of their mates to make them jealous. I mean even if his mates love their wives & are happy they will think about it at some point; comparing the steak they have at home to the burger their mate gets to eat every night (that's if he has swallowed his quoter of Viagra of course to keep up).

Lets be honest women's bits may hang out down South after a certain age but men become un-able to keep their dicks hard long enough to please themselves never mind a woman; that's even if they can get a twitch out of it, let alone a full on hard on! But in this modern day there is always a cure - women have face lifts, lipo & botox while men have Viagra :o) 
So ladies if you are tempted to take the Worthy's Original from an old guy at some point make sure he has a big bag of blue diamond shape sweets by the bedside.
& Boys if your ever tempted to get a lesson other than Maths from the likes of Carol Vorderman, make sure you take note & do your home work.  

****All products shown in this post can be purchased from my mate Ann (Summers of course) why not bob on over & see if she has anything to assist you with a night of passion - she has something for everyone, she's good like that. Just click on the links on the blog to take you there****

Birthday Boobs

One of the 1st ever bra's

Would you believe that the bra is 100 years old today, an invention I think is an absolute god send & I for one could not live without (this goes alongside the invention of make up, which is also much needed). Just for the pure genius of the idea you can tell it was thought of by a women; Mary Phelps Jacob was clearly a wonderful woman with an air of class. She didn't want her thrupenny bits swinging round by her knees, she wanted those puppies up & out there saying "Come on lads look at these bad boys" & why not. After all don't they say if you got it flaunt it....
I don't personally see the fascination & think if you've seen one pair of boobs you have seen them all. Yes they may come in different shapes & sizes but at the end of the day a boob is a boob. Like when Kate Middleton was photographed topless on honeymoon with Wills, a magazine published a 16 page spread with 200 photos of her sun bathing - WHY?? once you have seen one photo her boobs don't look any different in the other 199 pictures do they, could have saved some trees & ink there!

Some men love boobs; they generally go for arse or boobs, unless they are greedy then they say both!! I did wonder what exactly the fascination was & after a little digging around & questioning I found the answer. Its not just how they look or even the way they feel its the reaction....When a woman has her nipples tweaked or sucked its the look of delight on her face, the little moan she lets out, its how excited she gets - Well I never knew men put so much thought into it :o)
It puzzles me how some men can undo bra's easily & others can't, hell some can even do it one handed! Do they have lessons or is it like you see on the telly where they are in their room & they put a bra on a teddy to practice? Bit of a passion killer when a man is there fumbling for ages with no joy - I mean if he can't even flick a clasp right how on earth is he gonna know how to flick the bean....??

Peek a boo :o)

A large percentage of women are actually walking round wearing the wrong size bra, how you can not tell I do not know. Especially when you see a female walking down the road & she looks like she actually has four boobs. Besides the fact that it must be cutting of the circulation, how could an extra set of boobs go un-noticed when you look in the mirror or see your reflection in a window - this is one of life's mystery's. Joking aside this can cause long term damage so all women should get checked regularly, especially if:-
*The strap round the back is higher than the front
*It digs in (at the sides or underneath)
*The straps leave an indent in your shoulder
*Your boob hangs out the bottom
*Your boob hangs over the top

Look at those bad boys!!

So ladies when you get dressed in the morning don't just worry about how you look on the outside cause what you are wearing underneath is just as important. Dress your boobs to impress :o)

****All bra's featured in the blog post can be purchased from my mate Ann (Summers of course) so why not bob on over & have a butchers at her delightful collection of boob wear****

The Rampant Rabbi....

All new sleek Rampant Rabbit
NOT Rabbi :o)

Well blow me down I cannot believe what I have just heard & watched - some dude featured on This Morning has 6 wives by which he has had 18 children, I kid you not. When I saw the headline I thought this guy is either stupid, greedy or both; so I thought I would watch the video & decide for my self.

The first thing I have to say I don't agree with is the fact that this guy (his name is Phillip so we will address him as so from now on) is a Rabbi, a religious man. Now I am not overly religious myself but even I know that it doesn't promote this sort of behaviour in the bible - I mean God made Adam & Eve, not Adam, Eve, Julie, Sandra, Marie & Brenda; if that were the case the Bible would be bordering on pornographic!!

Threesomes & Moresomes,
Phillip is on Sixsomes lol

Phillip claims that God actually spoke to him & told him that he had to live his life in this way (OMG is he for real I hear you ask) & that although sometimes it causes him great pain (that must be when he is choosing which one to sleep with each night!) that it is all worth it as he feels cleansed (that's just because your sack is constantly empty my love....).
I thought that 3 of the 6 wives that he took on the show with him looked miserable, which i'm glad that Amon mentioned. At which point they all started smiling saying they loved their life & that they were one big family. Even though recently a 7th wife left as she said that she got jealous & always felt lonely - Lonely??!! There were 8 of you in a relationship so its not like you had no-one there. I started to think that Phillip clearly had his cake & was definately eating it (especially if he has sex with more than one at a time) but then surely that means he has 6 wives that also nag him, so that would mean 6 times the head ache. Maybe that's what he meant when he said it causes him great pain, he has shares in Nurofen.

If ever I get married there is NO WAY I would share my man, in fact I don't even need a ring & a certificate for that i'm not sharing regardless. The true meaning of marriage has completely gone out the window in this situation, one of which I think is ludacris & un-healthy. But hey each to their own & if God really is Phillips best mate then good on him ;o)

****Everything featured in the pictures can be bought from my mate Ann (Summers of course). Pop on over & have a butchers at the all new sleek looking Rampant Rabbit - go on try it you just might like it (I did)****

Here today affair tomorrow....

Glitzy body - was £30 now £10

I sat here flicking through the Sunday ritual that is reading the Sun newspaper; I come across a head line that catches my eye “Why you’re more likely to start an affair tomorrow”. As I read on I can’t help but think this is not news & who on earth comes up with this absolute load of crap? 

The article goes on to say that after extensive research (according to a dating website, says it all really….) it is proven that tomorrow, 7^th January, is the day people are most likely to start an affair. How the hell do they come up with this tosh, there are 365 days in the year & when surveyed everyone said “Ooh I’m gonna be un-faithful on 7^th January” get a grip. If someone is going to cheat do you think they care what day of the week it is, all they care about is what underwear they are wearing & are they gonna get lucky.

When speaking to my friend on the phone later in the evening she mentioned that she had also read the article & could see the logic. In her words – Christmas is a stressful time of year,  you have to spend 24 hours a day with your other half as there is no work. Therefore the spark could go out of a relationship, it is put to the test as your routine isn't there & you may get sick of your other half. Jeez what happened to Christmas being time to come together, be with loved ones & have quality time? I mean if all it takes is for someone to have a week off work with their family to have an affair then alarm bells should be ringing & you clearly shouldn't be with that person in the first place.

Apparently there are 5 tell-tale signs that you should look for;

Your sex life changes – well that could happen for a number of reasons: you have a baby, family stay over (no-one wants to be told to keep the noise down for banging the head board too hard, embarrassing), you are more tired due to all the organizing  hell you may even have got married as it appears saying “I do” ends your sex life!!

Changes in personal grooming – not the fact that not going to work means you have more time to make an effort….

Working late – Er hello leading up to the festive season most places are open late & everyone has deadlines to meet before the period of shut down….

Inexplicable anger – Everyone knows that most men can’t stand their mother-in-law & it’s inevitable that they will have to spend time together over the turkey; just cause he gets annoyed by this doesn't mean he is getting a blow job from someone else….

New name, new places – So because he mentions that he went to a hotel that means he went there to have sex, not because he just had his work Christmas party there….

This is bound to get his pulse racing

My advice is take no notice of these ridiculous articles written by someone who may have 5 years media studies qualifications but actually has no real life experience & is more than likely still single. You know your partner, you spend the most time with them, everyone is different & you will know the tell-tale signs if they are going out for a burger when they have steak at home. Besides don’t give him any excuse to look elsewhere in the first place, show him every day what he already has :o) 

****All garments featured in this post can be purchased from my mate Ann (Summers of course), so just click on the link on the side of the blog & get something to show him what he's got****